Daughter bails on family reunion years after they refuse to help after a messy breakup, leaving her homeless: “She said my own bad choices are why I ended up living in my car”

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Apr 25, 2025 7:00 PM EDT

Because most families are pretty spread apart across the country these days – and even the globe – sometimes a holiday dinner doesn't cut it when it comes to seeing everyone that you care about at once. Thus, a family reunion must be planned. If you have a family filled with people that generally get along, family reunions can be a pretty fun way to catch up. However, if your relatives have a penchant for drama, or if there is a lot of resentment and tension, things can go south pretty quickly.

In our story today, a family plans a family reunion in Florida. Everyone is expected to attend, and they're all shocked when our protagonist declines the summons. They shouldn't really be surprised, though. Not a single one of them lent a hand when she was living out of her car after a bad break up. Instead, she plans to spend her time with someone who actually cares about her. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for choosing my roommate's business over a big family reunion after how my family acted?

    Cheezburger Image 10497532928
    via MivPiv

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    About 3 years ago, I left my ex. He wasn't a horrible guy or anything, but I was unhappy. He was obsessed with a video game and did some weird things on it, we had a de d bedroom and he
    via u/nomoreofficedogs
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    wouldn't work on it, and we just shifted into roommates really. I didn't have enough saved for my own place, but I knew if I didn't leave I'd end up stuck.
    via u/nomoreofficedogs
  • 04
    I'd asked members of my family if I could stay with them until I had things figured out and had a plan for roughly 1 month, up to 2 months. They all declined, so I lived in my car for a while. My family is
    via u/nomoreofficedogs
  • 05
    big on pulling yourself up by the bootstraps, no handouts, accept the consequences of your choices, etc, so I was not surprised. I did not have local friends to ask.
    via u/nomoreofficedogs
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    C
    via Africa Images

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    Thankfully after a few months my high school friend Penny, moved back to town and invited me to be her roommate, and that's where I am now.
    via u/nomoreofficedogs
  • 08
    Now for the conflict, lol. My mom asked me what I was doing in August because they were trying to get everyone to Florida for a family reunion. They had made reservations and things under the assumption I'd go.
    via u/nomoreofficedogs
  • 09
    A while ago, Penny asked me if I could help her out at her craft fairs this year. She does 10-15 of them and it's a big to-do. She sells gorgeous jewelry and ceramics. I gladly accepted.
    via u/nomoreofficedogs
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    BO 15% OF
    via Elias Jara from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    I told my mom that I had plans over the summer and wouldn't be able to come. She got angry with me and asked me what plans could be better than a trip to Florida. I explained what I'd be doing, and she
    via u/nomoreofficedogs
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    scoffed. She told me that this was probably the last time we'd all get to be with some of the older family. She said I have no sense of familial obligation.
    via u/nomoreofficedogs
  • 13
    Suddenly there's a family obligation for me to pay to travel to Florida and spend time with people who wouldn't even help me out when I needed it. I went to family dinners where at the end of the night I'd leave and go sleep in my car in the Walmart parking lot and nobody blinked.
    via u/nomoreofficedogs

  • So, they completely knew about her sitauation. They let her into their house for dinner and then proceeded to let her go back to her car to sleep in a parking lot. Our protagonist didn't mention that they ever offered her a place to stay even for a night. 

  • 14
    I brought that up to my mom and she immediately said that my own bad choices are why I ended up living in my car and they were not required to coddle me as a grown woman. I said it goes both
    via u/nomoreofficedogs
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    ways. She said I was being a petty brat. I ended the call. My sister later called me about it and asked me what my problem was and why I'm still holding ancient grudges against the rest of them and how this trip was supposed to be a big reset for the family.
    via u/nomoreofficedogs
  • 16
    I do know that there are a few members of my family I probably won't see again if I don't go. This is the main reason I wonder if I'm just holding onto hurt or if it's "justified" for me to do this. AITA for not going to the family reunion and picking my roommate instead?
    via u/nomoreofficedogs
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    Cheezburger Image 10497509120
    via Studio Spain

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • This family is completely heartless. Our protagonist deserves better. I bet they're the type to chime, “Family helps family," when they are in need, too.

  • 18
    Personal_Valuable_31 Tell her: A vacation at this time is a financially poor decision, and you have no inclination to make another bad decision where you may need help and can not count on family. This trip is not something that you budgeted for it was sprung on you at the last minute, without even asking if it was feasible for you, and you have prior commitments.
    via u/Personal_Valuable_31
  • 19
    nomoreofficedogs OP Oh wow, I wish I'd thought of this when we were on the phone, because how could she have argued with that?
    via u/nomoreofficedogs
  • 20
    StolliV This is the best answer. Don't let them badger you into a decision you don't want because they will absolutely flip it on its head later... god forbid something happens and you require their help again... but they would ABSOLUTELY play the "maybe you shouldn't have spent $2000 going on vacation" card and kick you to the curb again.
    via u/StolliV
  • 21
    SunshineeBug Exactly. It's not just about the money, it's about the lack of support when you actually needed it. They don't get to guilt you now that it's convenient for them. Prior commitments and boundaries matter.
    via u/SunshineeBug
  • 22
    Reclinerbabe If this was supposed to be a "big reset" for the family, they sure went about it in a strange way.
    via u/Reclinerbabe
  • 23
    Unfortunately, your mother and your sister showed you why you shouldn't feel bad in any way for not wanting to go to this circus.
    via u/Reclinerbabe
  • 24
    If there are any older family members that you miss, just drop them a card and say you're thinking of them with love and hope to see them soon. Loving, simple, and not involving them in any drama.
    via u/Reclinerbabe
  • 25
    -- Then go have fun with your friend. I did the same thing with a friend one year - East Coast craft fairs all summer, selling her jewelry. It was SO MUCH FUN!!! Have a blast. Just remember -- your friends are the family you choose! Big hug!
    via u/Reclinerbabe
  • 26
    nomoreofficedogs OP I've helped her with a few in the past and they are so much fun. You meet so many interesting people and artisans and make so many connections. I'm really excited to do it!
    via u/nomoreofficedogs
  • 27
    Mysterious-Region640 I'm sorry, I know it's not the point of this post but I can't help it, who in their right mind goes to Florida in August, on purpose?
    via u/Mysterious-Region640
  • 28
    nomoreofficedogs OP I chuckled. This isn't even the first time they've purposely gone to Florida in August. They did it. twice when I was in college, too.
    via u/nomoreofficedogs
  • 29
    angelicak92 If my family were okay with me sleeping in a carbto get out of an unhealthy relationship, then I'd never speak to them again - mother and sister included.
    via u/angelicak92
  • 30
    For my children, they know that when they're older, they can always come home for any reason and that their friends can always find a home here too. That's what family is, not whatever fake show pony fuckery your relatives are on about. Nta
    via u/angelicak92
  • 31
    nomoreofficedogs OP Boy I wish I had you in my family instead of this mess. That has to be so nice and secure to know you can rely on your family like that, even as adults.
    via u/nomoreofficedogs

Tags

toxic relationships family drama toxic mother siblings homeless relationships parenting love family trip daughter roommates family vacation Father vacation
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